Snap or Dance

I was sitting at my window one very stormy morning, just thinking about God and I looked up and spotted this tree off in the distance. I am sure for some it is just a tree but as I continued to look at it, I saw the protecting, secure hand of God. Other trees all around were snapping, breaking and falling but this tree was swaying with the wind as if it were dancing along with the storm. God was holding that tree in His hand.

All of us go through storms in our life. I know I do. At times it feels like I am going to break, snap or fall under the pressure of the storm. It's a time where there is a lot of uncertainty and insecurity and it's uncomfortable and even painful. Being in the middle of a storm is not a fun place to be. But then I look up and realize that like that tree, I am in His hands. I belong to Him and he is never going to let me go. I am secure and I will not snap, break or fall no matter what it feels like.

The storms will not end especially as we follow our Father but we have a choice. We can give up and snap under the pressure or we can dance along with the storm in the palm of His Hand. It's not an easy choice to make, but certainly worth it. Snap or Dance - you decide!

Sprouting Seeds

One day years ago I was out in my backyard planting seeds in my vegetable garden. As I was planting the seeds I was wondering how many of them would sprout and how many would die. Then one day, I remember the excitement when one seed sprouted and then watched as many more followed along.

Well,the other day as I was continuing to sow seeds into people's lives I started to ask God how many of them will sprout and how many of them will fall by the wayside. I guess I was discouraged because although there was some things happening, it just didn't seem like I was making enough of an impact in this very needy area. I had switched into the human timeline and wanted instant results. That was when God reminded me that things happened in His time not mine and that I hadn't been here that long.

Two days later, I started to see some of the seeds sprout. On Sunday morning I headed out to my car to go to church saying good morning to my neighbors on the way, when one of them called my name from the balcony. When I looked up there she was standing in her pajamas and asked if next Sunday she could go with me. This lady lost her husband two months ago and is looking for answers. My heart lept as I thanked God for showing me the seed that was sprouting. Since then the seeds have been popping up all over the place. Yesterday a lady whose feet were so swollen she could hardly walk asked if I would pray for her. She is now walking pain free and praising God for His miracle in her life and today I sat with a young girl who prayed and asked God to help her change her life as she knew she couldn't do it on her own. And if that wasn't the highlight, tonight as I was out telling everyone that on Saturday I was taking the coffee and cookies out into the parking lot and for everyone to bring their chair and their cup a lady stopped me and asked this question. "Why are you being so .... nice and then apologized for swearing" Then said she would spread the word. God is making a difference here and as the seeds are sprouting I thank God for each one of them.

Is it easy? No! It is a very tough and rough road and I have been rebuked and ridiculed. It gets lonely and tiring but it is so worth it. When I planted my garden years back I remember the way I felt when I was finally able to harvest the fruit that came from the seeds. Oh, for the day when that happens here and the seeds turn into plants. In the meantime I will keep planting the seeds.

This morning I was looking out from my motel window looking at my mission field and couldn't help but thank God for where He has brought me and at the same time wondering if I am really ready for what is ahead. Are we ever really ready for the adventure? Are we ever ready for the journey that God places us on? Well, I am about to find out as I have started out on the journey with the roadmap only showing one step at a time and I must say there is a degree of excitement involved in all of this.

For those of you who don't know what I am talking about and have not received a letter (they are going out today and tomorrow), I have moved into a motel in Niagara Falls where God has me working with those who have been victims of life and are looking for a way to turn their life around and looking for that hope that can only be found in Jesus.

In the letter I was not able to give a lot of examples of what God is doing but will be giving updates in this blog and sharing the amazing things that God is doing in the lives of the people around me.

Last night, I made dinner for a crippled man who lives two doors down from me. He can not get out and longs for fellowship. So I cooked a meal on my hot plate and knocked on his door, set the table and shared a meal with him. What a great way to spend a couple of hours, eating and sharing Jesus. When I left I knew in an odd way we had church. From there I went to visit another lady a little further down the sidewalk to get a progress report. This lady had shared with me that for the past two years she has not had a solid night's sleep because of horrific nightmares. She had gotten to the point of depending on medication to help calm her but then stayed awake as long as possible so that she wouldn't have to face the nightmares. When she told me her story I sat and listened and then prayed with her. Last night when I went to visit, she told me that she has not used any medication and has now had three solid nights of sleep with no nightmares. Praise God!

These are just two of the many things that God has begun to do here and I know that there is so much more to come especially as God has opened up a second motel for me to work with as well.

Is this a typical ministry? No. Is this overseas? No. Is it worth it? You bet! God loves each one of these people here and so do I and I am so honored to be chosen by Him to be used in this area.

Back to my beginning question. Am I ready? For those of you who have watched Prince Caspian from the Chronicles of Narnia here is a quote that spoke to me. Prince Caspian is standing before Aslan and Aslan tells him to stand. Prince Caspian says "I don't think I am ready" and Aslan replies "It's for that very reason that you are".

Look for more details in upcoming blogs.

Beauty and Signficance

About a week ago I was sitting looking outside the window and this dandelion caught my eye. It was there all alone in the midst of grasses standing tall reaching to the sky. At that moment it was as if it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. After looking at it for a while I walked away and forgot about it as I so often do. But that dandelion had great significance and beauty. It was and is a representation of who we are in Christ.

As I continued to reflect on the image of the dandelion God showed me that so often we see ourselves as the world's image of the dandelion; an ugly insignificant weed, an inconvenience that has absolutely no worth. We see ourselves standing alone in the midst of the tall grasses and we wait for someone to come and destroy us, whether it be by their words or actions, and then forget about us. But that is not truth. The dandelion is not a weed. It is a beautiful flower. It is God's creation and so are we. We are a beautiful flower and like that dandelion we can stand tall in the midst of the grasses of life because we have worth and we have a purpose.

The other thing I noticed about this dandelion is that it is unique. No two dandelions are the same no matter how much they try to blend in with the rest and they all have their own function and purpose. Like the dandelion so often we try to blend in with the rest of those around us. We want to hide and remain unnoticed behind the other people in our lives but God has created us individuals with our own purpose. We are unique. So let's be ourselves. Let's stand tall with confidence and make a statement. Let's be real and make a difference to those around us. I do not want to be known as the sweet smelling rose or the brightly colored lilly. I am honored to be the beautiful dandelion standing tall with my head and my hands towards the sky among the grasses of life. How about you?

Silent Running

Do you know the purpose of a submarine while in stealth mode. It is called silent running and it is used to evade discovery by eliminating noise. In a way peple are like submarines because although they can be physically seen they stop talking or making noise; so that who they are will not be discovered, therefore reducing the risk of being hurt. I had never really given that much thought because I am a real person. I hate games and pretense but something happened this week to make me understand why people do this.

I was with two other people that had taken the time to get to know who I was and where I came from. It was a discussion group and I felt safe. The question was asked and came around to me to answer. I answered from my heart and from experience and wham the torpedo came and slammed right into every part of me. At first I reeled from the shock. I didn't know what had hit me. Was I really just ridiculed? Was I really just accused of being "weird"? And then as the shock wore off I realized that yes I was hit and I was sinking fast. At that point, I understood the whole submarine concept as I went into stealth mode. I got quiet because at that point those people were no longer safe.

Although I have moved on, the sting is there but it has shown me again the struggles involved with being transparent. It has increased my compassion for those that struggle with feeling safe and secure hour after hour and day after day. It is so important for people to feel safe so that their real self can surface, and it is our job as ministers of the Gospel and friends to help them feel that way. It is our job to usher them into a place of safety. It is our job to accept them the way they are.

It's easy to ridicule. It's easy to be harsh. It's easy to shoot the darts from our mouth but if we do we will never reach people because we won't see them. We will see their shape. We will see their outer surface but we will never see them. We will never be used to get to the depths of their submarine because they will be running silent. My challenge is this - will we be a harbour of safety and support or will we be the torpedo that tries to sink the ship?

Lies or Truth

I was reading a book this morning thta I got from the library by Anne Rice. It is called Christ the Lord - The Road to Cana. I realize it is fiction but it showed me from a different angle what Jesus must have went through during that time.

The part that really stood out was His exchange of words with the enemy in the wilderness. The enemy is tempting Jesus to worship him and trying to tell Him that he is the ruler of the world. Jesus responds with these words, "Oh, yes, you have them, your minions. I've seen them. And you have your followers, those poor cursed souls you squeeze in your anxious fist. You even have your shrines. But how paltry are your grudging triumphs in this vast, vital world of blowing wheat and shining sun! How tawdry your attempts to rush into the breach of every petty dissension, or raise your puny standard over every hideous squabble or tenuous web of avarice and deceit - pathetic your one true ppossession: your lies! Your abominable lies! And always, always you seek to drive men to despair, to convince them in your envy and greed that your archenemy, the Lord God is their enemy, that He is beyond their reach, beyond their pain, beyond their need. You lie! You have always lied! If you ruled this world you wouldn't offer to share a particle of it. You couldn't. There would be no world for you to share, because you would destroy it. You are yourself The Lie! and you are nothing other than that."

Satan tells him to stop and Jesus goes on to say. "It's I who've come to stop you! It's I who've come to reveal that your despair is a fraud! I'm here to tell one and all that you are no Ruler, and never were, that in the great scheme of things you are no more than a filthy brigand, a thief on the margins, a scavenger circling in impotent envy the camps of men and women! And I will destroy your Fabled Rule, as I destroy you - as I drive you out, stamp you out, blot you out - and not with hulking armies in baths of blood, not with the raging smoke and terror you so crave, not with swords and spears dripping with broken flesh. I will do it as you cannot imagine it - I will do it by family, by camp, by hamlet and village and town. I will do it at the banquet tables in the smallest rooms and greatest mansions of cities. I will do it heart by heart. I will do it soul by soul. Yes, the world is ready. Yes, the map is drawn. Yes, the Scripture goes forth in the common language of the world. Yes. And so I go on my way to do it, and you have struggled here once more - and forever in vain."

Someone said to me this week that trust and transparency are hard to beat and an action in which I clearly hit a home run. I considered that a great compliment as that is something that I strive for. I want to be known as someone that is real. It can be a very hard road to follow and it is extremely hard to do. We can't be real and transparent with others if we don't know who we are and so we have to look at ourselves with glasses of truth. It is in that process that the lies which I just wrote about, the lies of the enemy, that cloud those glasses. They shadow the truth changing the image of who we are into an image of what people want us to be. In reference to my previous blog about the artist and the canvas, it changes the whole picture and it no longer is an original because it has been altered.

So my question today is what lies have you been following that have altered the picture? What voices have you been listening to that have taken you off the course of transparency? It's a question I need to reflect on and ask myself. It's time to stand up and say you are a Liar and a time to declare that I will follow Truth. That is what puts us on the course of finding the "real me."

The Artist and the Canvas

Why is it that we try to be something that we are not. To be real means we have to bypass preconceived ideas that people have placed upon us and focus on what is on the inside of us. But do we know what that is? This week the opportunity arose for me to try and tell someone who I was in a fairly concise manner. I was imagining that I was like an artist. First I did a general outline - name, age all that kind of stuff. The information that labels you but doesn't define you. Then I started filling in a few more of the details - the things and people from the past and present that shape who I am today. It was as if the more I drew the more transparent I had to become and the more transparent the scarier it was. I was opening up myself to all sorts of rejection. Was this person going to look at the drawing and throw it away, were they going to try and make all sorts of changes or were they going to accept it for face value. At this point I don't know the answer to that question. The drawing is not complete and the verdict is still with the jury. Have I been labelled? Are their other drawings out there that are a little more complete? I don't know. Does it matter? But as I sit and wait, I continue to perfect what is in front of me. Adding a little more information and filling in the background. What does the final picture look like? There is no final picture because it keeps changing from day to day depending on the decisions we make. The day it will be complete is the day that I go home from this world. We never get to perfection. So, why sit and try and perfect the drawing if it keeps changing. Is it to impress people or in particular this person and convince them that this is the picture that they want? No, because to be real means to be yourself and that means not having to impress anyone. I do it for me. To see who I am. To see where I can change. To focus on the good, the bad and the ugly and to put it all into prospective on the canvas. To see the fulfillment of dreams as they come and join the picture. This picture has no title and no labels but is made up of dreams, visions, desires, experiences and emotions. When complete this picture will be me.